Mat punk

Kisah Mat Punk

Seorang orang tua sedang duduk di kerusi di sebuah taman bunga sambil menikmati udara petang.. Tiba-tiba seorang anak muda bergaya punk duduk di sebelah si atok tersebut...

Rambut anak muda itu dicat kuning dan hijau, sementara rambut-rambut yang berdiri dicat jingga dan ungu. Di sekeliling matanya diwarnakan hitam. Orang tua itu lama menatap si punk tersebut...

Merasa terganggu dengan tatapan orang tua itu.. pemuda punk itu bertanya.. "Eh, pakcik.. kenapa tenung saya macam tu..? apakah dulu waktu muda pakcik tidak pernah buat kerja yang gila-gila?"

Setelah menarik nafas panjang... orang tua itu menjawab.. "Tentu saja pernah. Dulu aku pernah mabuk teruk..

dan ketika mabuk itulah aku merogol seekor burung kakatua. jadi sekarang ini aku keliru... jangan-jangan kamu adalah anakku."

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Kisah Razak Membeli Ayam Panggang

Razak pergi ke sebuah restoran kegemarannya dan memesan ayam panggang seekor. Beberapa minit kemudian pesanannya sampai... Tapi sedang dia menikmatinya makanannya, pelayan yang lain menghampirinya dan berkata

"Maaf, Encik... Itu sebenarnya pesanan lelaki yang ada di sana itu. Dan ini merupakan stok ayam terakhir yang kami ada... Maaf ya Encik."

Razak menoleh ke arah lelaki yang ditunjuk, ternyata badannya besar dan gagah.. lalu berkata,"Kerana terlanjur sudah makan sedikit..jadi ayam ini milik saya. lagi pun saya juga membayarnya."

Sementara si pelayan restoran nampak kebingungan, lelaki gagah tadi dengan wajah marah sambil membawa pisau menghampiri Razak.

"Hai budak.. jangan sentuh lagi..!! Apapun yang akan engkau lakukan terhadap ayam itu akan aku lakukan juga terhadap engkau. Kalau kau potong kakinya, aku akan potong kaki engkau. Kalau engkau potong perutnya, aku akan potong juga perutmu. Pendek cerita... apapun yang engkau lakukan, akan aku lakukan juga pada engkau."

Razak terdiam beberapa minit... lalu perlahan-lahan Dia mengangkat ayamnya, membawa ke mulutnya dan menjilat bontot ayam tersebut...

Koboi dan Pari-Pari

Al-Kisah...

Seorang Koboi Pulang Dari Sebuah Kota Dengan Menunggang Kudanya Melewati Gurun. Dia Dikejutkan Oleh Seekor Ular Yang Menghalangi Jalannya, Lalu Si Koboi Turun Dengan Pisau Ditangannya, Ketika Ditangkap Ular Itu Untuk Dibunuh Si Ular Berkata :

Si Ular : "Jangan Bunuh Saya, Saya Adalah Seorang Pari-Pari".

Si Koboi Terkejut, Dan Masih Ragu, Lalu Bertanya :

Si Koboi : "Jika Kamu Pari-Pari Apa Yang Saya Minta Akan Dikabulkan ?". Tanya Si Koboi.
Si Ular : "Jika Kamu Tidak Percaya Lepaskan Dulu Saya, Dan Apa Permintaan Kamu Wahai Koboi?". Kata Si Ular Itu.

Lalu Si Koboi Melepaskan Si Ular Itu, Lalu Dia Berkata :

Si Koboi : "Saya Mempunyai 3 (Tiga) Permintaan, Iaitu Yang Pertama, Saya Mahu Wajah Saya Hensem Macam Lionardo Dikopiko, Yang Kedua badan Saya Setegap Arnold, Yang Ketiga "Anu" Saya Sebesar "anu" Kuda Yang Saya Tunggangi Itu". Sambil Menunjukkan Jari Ke Kudanya.

Si Ular Berkata Dengan Tenang :

"Sonang Bai Tuuuu, Esok Kamu Boleh Lihat Dicermin Apa Yang Terjadi, Sudah Ya, Saya Pergi Tata Titi Tutu". Kata Si Ular Sambil Pergi Masuk Semak-Samun Dan Menghilang.

Lalu Si Koboi Itu Naik Kudanya Meneruskan Perjalanan Menuju Rumahnya. Memang Hari Sudah Lewat Dan Sesampai Di Rumah Si Koboy Berdiri Di Depan Cermin Dan Berkata :

"Besok Kalau Tidak Ada Perubahan Siaplahh!, Aku Potong Kepalamu Wahai Ularr!". Sambil Berjalan Dia Masuk Ke Bilik Dan "Z z Z z " Ketiduran.

Keesokan Harinya Si Koboi Bangun Pagi-Pagi Dan Terus Menuju Cermin, Dan Apa Yang Terjadi, Si Koboi Tergezut Gorilla Dan Gembiraaa, Dilihatnya Wajahnya Mirip Lionardo Dikopiko Dengan Senyum Bangga, Lalu Dia Membuka Baju Melihat Badannya Sudah Berubah Dengan Otot Yang Menonjol, Dia Memperagakannya Gaya-Gaya Bodybuilder, Kemudian Dia Membuka Seluarnya Dan Dia Terkejut Triple King-Kong Sekali, Dan Berteriak :

"Tidak-Tidak. Ini Tidak Mungkin, TIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!!!!!".

Ternyata Dia Lupa, Dan Baru Ingat Bahawa Kuda Yang Ditungganginya Semalam Itu Adalah Kuda Betina...!!.

MORAL : Masa Kat Sekolah Dulu Tak Ambil Subjek Pendidikan Moral

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Boboi Kencing dan Nyanyi

Ada seorang budak kecik, Boboi namanya umur dlm 4 thn. Dia nih memang gemar sangat kencing. Mungkin pundi kencing dia longgar agaknya. Kadang-kadang tu pergi fun-fair ke, supermarket ke, mana-manalah tempat yang ramai orang, kalau dia nak kencing ajer, sesuka hati dia jerit kat mak dia...

"mak..boboi nak kencing!!!".

Maka mak dia pon mencari jalan penyelesaian utk Boboi sebab mak nya malu dengan perangai Boboi nih menjerit kat tempat yang ramai orang. Maka mak nyer pon kata kat Boboi,

"Boboi..lain kali kalau Boboi nak kencing, Boboi cakap nak nyanyi,ok?". Boboi pon mengangguk tanda paham.

Nak dijadikan cerita, satu hari mak Boboi ada outstation, jadi Boboi di hantar bermalam dengan neneknya. Masa tuh dah agak malam, nenek pun dah terbaring penat setelah seharian melayan karenah Boboi. Budak boboi nih bukan tau orang tua tuh penat ke idak. Dia pun menjerit kat neneknya... "Nenek...Boboi nak nyanyi!!".

Neneknya membalas "Dah malam nih,esok lah nyanyi, nanti orang rumah sebelah marah pulak boboi bising!", terang nenek. Si boboi terus mendesak juga. Akhirnya neneknya pasrah...

"Um..yerlah..boboi..boboi nyanyi perlahan-lahan kat telinga nenek ye....."

Mencelupkan Jari ke 'Kolam' Istri

Sepasang suami istri yang baru saja menikah tengah berbaring. Sang istri telah bersiap-siap untuk tidur sedangkan suaminya menyalakan lampu baca untuk membaca sebuah buku.

Pada saat tengah membaca tersebut, si suami berhenti sejenak, memasukkan tangannya ke dalam celana isterinya dan meraba-raba 'kolam' istrinya tersebut. Lantas ia meneruskan bacaannya. Ia kembali melakukan hal ini berkali-kali sehingga lama kelamaan isterinya menjadi terangsang. Tak lama kemudian, istrinya bangun, duduk pada badan suaminya serta mulai membuka baju dan celananya.

Suaminya menjadi heran dengan perbuatan isterinya ini dan bertanya, "Apa-apaan ini? Kok lepas baju segala sih?

Jawab istrinya, "Kamu memasukkan jarimu berkali-kali. Aku pikir itu adalah pemanasan dan kau ingin 'mengajakku' malam ini"

"Ah, nggak sama sekali kok!", jawab suaminya.
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Suami Minum Viagra

Seorang wanita dalam usia awal 40an datang berjumpa doktor dengan wajah yang muram durja seraya berkata, "suami saya begitu dingin sejak akhir-akhir ini.., saya perlukan pertolongan dari tuan".

"Kenapa puan tidak mencuba viagra ?, ia suatu penemuan hebat di abad ini!" ujar doktor tersebut.

"Oh, please.. dia tak suka dengan ubatan dan pil rangsangan, dah puas saya memujuknya!"

"Begini puan, puan boleh cuba tanpa disedarinya.. masukkan dalam minumannya.. dia takkan tahu sebab pil ini tiada perasa.." nasihat doktor itu lagi.

"Ok,.. saya akan cuba.." kata wanita tersebut sambil berlalu.

Keesokan harinya datang lagi wanita tersebut dengan muka yang merah padam berjumpa doktor tersebut sambil berkata "sungguh memalukan!..sungguh memalukan!".

Sambil terkejut doktor itu berkata "..kenapa, tak berkesankah?"

"Oh tidak tuan doktor, kesannya amat semerta.. sambil minum petang semalam, saya ikut nasihat doktor.. setelah menghabiskan minuman, mukanya bertukar menjadi merah, terus menghumbankan semua isi meja ke lantai, merentap skirt saya dan mem..bla..bla..bla.. di atas meja makan itu juga !. ianya berlangsung hampir satu jam dan ini permainan yang paling hebat pernah saya rasa sejak 20 tahun lalu ..!".

"Habis.. apa masalahnya?" tanya doktor kehairanan.

"Yelah.. mana saya nak letak muka dengan ibu, ayah, mertua, anak-anak dan pembantu rumah saya !!! kami sedang minum petang bersama-sama !!.

"Lantas, kenapa kau melakukan itu terus menerus?"

"Aku cuma membasahkan jariku agar bisa membalik halaman pada buku yang sedang aku baca ini"

"Kurang azaaarrr ..... !!!"

My Dream Car

Roots Superchargers

There are three types of superchargers: Roots, twin-screw and centrifugal. The main difference is how they move air to the intake manifold of the engine. Roots and twin-screw superchargers use different types of meshing lobes, and a centrifugal supercharger uses an impeller, which draws air in. Although all of these designs provide a boost, they differ considerably in their efficiency. Each type of supercharger is available in different sizes, depending on whether you just want to give your car a boost or compete in a race.

The Roots supercharger is the oldest design. Philander and Francis Roots patented the design in 1860 as a machine that would help ventilate mine shafts. In 1900, Gottleib Daimler included a Roots supercharger in a car engine.

As the meshing lobes spin, air trapped in the pockets between the lobes is carried between the fill side and the discharge side. Large quantities of air move into the intake manifold and "stack up" to create positive pressure. For this reason, Roots superchargers are really nothing more than air blowers, and the term "blower" is still often used to describe all superchargers.

Roots superchargers are usually large and sit on top of the engine. They are popular in muscle cars and hot rods because they stick out of the hood of the car. However, they are the least efficient supercharger for two reasons: They add more weight to the vehicle and they move air in discrete bursts instead of in a smooth and continuous flow.

Basic Supercharger

Supercharger Basics

An ordinary four-stroke engine dedicates one stroke to the process of air intake. There are three steps in this process:

1. The piston moves down.
2. This creates a vacuum.
3. Air at atmospheric pressure is sucked into the combustion chamber.

Once air is drawn into the engine, it must be combined with fuel to form the charge -- a packet of potential energy that can be turned into useful kinetic energy through a chemical reaction known as combustion. The spark plug initiates this chemical reaction by igniting the charge. As the fuel undergoes oxidation, a great deal of energy is released. The force of this explosion, concentrated above the cylinder head, drives the piston down and creates a reciprocating motion that is eventually transferred to the wheels.

Getting more fuel into the charge would make for a more powerful explosion. But you can't simply pump more fuel into the engine because an exact amount of oxygen is required to burn a given amount of fuel. This chemically correct mixture -- 14 parts air to one part fuel -- is essential for an engine to operate efficiently. The bottom line: To put in more fuel, you have to put in more air.

That's the job of the supercharger. Superchargers increase intake by compressing air above atmospheric pressure, without creating a vacuum. This forces more air into the engine, providing a "boost." With the additional air in the boost, more fuel can be added to the charge, and the power of the engine is increased. Supercharging adds an average of 46 percent more horsepower and 31 percent more torque. In high-altitude situations, where engine performance deteriorates because the air has low density and pressure, a supercharger delivers higher-pressure air to the engine so it can operate optimally.

Unlike turbochargers, which use the exhaust gases created by combustion to power the compressor, superchargers draw their power directly from the crankshaft. Most are driven by an accessory belt, which wraps around a pulley that is connected to a drive gear. The drive gear, in turn, rotates the compressor gear. The rotor of the compressor can come in various designs, but its job is to draw air in, squeeze the air into a smaller space and discharge it into the intake manifold.

To pressurize the air, a supercharger must spin rapidly -- more rapidly than the engine itself. Making the drive gear larger than the compressor gear causes the compressor to spin faster. Superchargers can spin at speeds as high as 50,000 to 65,000 rotations per minute (RPM).

A compressor spinning at 50,000 RPM translates to a boost of about six to nine pounds per square inch (psi). That's six to nine additional psi over the atmospheric pressure at a particular elevation. Atmospheric pressure at sea level is 14.7 psi, so a typical boost from a supercharger places about 50 percent more air into the engine.

As the air is compressed, it gets hotter, which means that it loses its density and can not expand as much during the explosion. This means that it can't create as much power when it's ignited by the spark plug. For a supercharger to work at peak efficiency, the compressed air exiting the discharge unit must be cooled before it enters the intake manifold. The intercooler is responsible for this cooling process. Intercoolers come in two basic designs: air-to-air intercoolers and air-to-water intercoolers. Both work just like a radiator, with cooler air or water sent through a system of pipes or tubes. As the hot air exiting the supercharger encounters the cooler pipes, it also cools down. The reduction in air temperature increases the density of the air, which makes for a denser charge entering the combustion chamber.

Next, we'll look at the different types of superchargers.

Turbochargers

A turbocharger, short for turbine driven supercharger, is an exhaust gas driven forced induction device used to improve engine performance by forcing compressed air into the engine. This compressed air allows more fuel to be burned resulting in more horsepower. Using a compressor to increase pressure at the point of cylinder air intake is referred to as forced induction vs. a non-turbo engine that is known as naturally aspirated.

A turbocharger consists of a turbine and a compressor linked by a shared axle. The turbine inlet receives exhaust gases from the engine’s exhaust manifold causing the turbine wheel to spin. This rotation drives the compressor, compressing air and delivering it to the air intake of the engine.

Superchargers operate in the same fashion as a turbo except the energy used to spin the compressor on a supercharger is taken from the rotation of the engine’s crankshaft as opposed to its exhaust gas. For this reason turbochargers are more efficient, since their turbines convert some of the thermal energy from the exhaust gas, that would otherwise be wasted, into useful work. Nevertheless, this is not totally free energy, as it always creates some amount of exhaust backpressure that the engine must overcome. Since superchargers use output energy from the engine to achieve their power, some of the engine’s total output is lost.

Turbocharged engines operating at wide open throttle and high rpm require a large volume of air to flow between the turbo and the inlet of the engine. When the throttle is closed compressed air will continue to flow to the throttle valve without an exit. This causes a pressure surge that can be destructive to the engine. To prevent this from happening, a valve is fitted between the turbo and air intake that vents the excess air pressure. These valves are known as anti-surge, dump or blowoff valves. They are normally operated by engine vacuum or by electronic control.

A wastegate is the most common mechanical speed control system used to protect the engine. The main function of a wastegate is to allow some of the exhaust gasses to bypass the turbocharger when the desired intake pressure, or boost, is achieved. Often times a wastegate is further augmented by an electronic boost controller.

Boost refers to the increase in manifold pressure that is generated by the turbocharger. The maximum possible boost depends on the fuel’s octane rating. Typically, engines running on pump gas cannot sustain a boost above 12 psi.

Turbo lag refers to the delay between pushing the accelerator pedal and feeling the turbo kick-in. This happens because it takes the turbocharger’s turbines a moment to spin and build up boost. Turbo lag can be reduced by a properly tuned wastegate, higher quality bearings, lighter ceramic turbine, or by reducing the surface area of the turbine’s rotating blades. Note: The directly-driven compressor in a supercharger does NOT suffer from lag.

An intercooler can be added to a turbocharged system to further increase horsepower. Intercoolers take the hot compressed gases from the turbo and pass them through a radiator to lower their temperature and increase their density before they reenter the engine. The cooler dense air allows more air and fuel to be combusted per engine cycle, increasing the horsepower output of the engine.

JDM Cars with Turbochargers

• Toyota Chaser - 1JZ-GTE
• Toyota MR2 – 3S-GTE
• Toyota Supra - 2JZ-GTE
• Nissan Silvia – SR20DET
• Nissan Skyline – RB26DETT
• Mazda RX-7 - 13B-REW
• Subaru Impreza WRX – EJ207
• Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution – 4G63T and 4B11T

How to Build a Drift Car

I get asked often “How to build a drift car?” Here is a short overview on how to make your car drift ready.

Since most of the cars you guys will be tuning have higher miles, they need a little love. The first thing I would suggest is making sure the car is in good running condition. Make sure all the belts are good, check all the fluids, and change the oil. If the air filter is dirty replace it.
Next, check the brakes. Make sure brake pads have life left and the rotors are not too worn. Since you will be using the e-brake to initiate drifts and to correct drift angle once the car is sliding sideways, you need to make sure the rear brake pads are in good condition. Otherwise, you will have a hard time getting the rear wheels to lock up when you pull the e-brake. If they are worn out go to Napa, Auto Zone, or Oreilly’s and buy the brake parts you need - most of these auto parts stores have lifetime replacement policies.

So now your car is running like new. If you have the money buy a set of coilover struts, if not, get a set of springs. You can also get strut bars on eBay for cheap. Now your suspension is tighter. I would get used to this before doing any more suspension modifications.
Now if this is your second car, or you don’t do much street driving, I’d strip out everything you can except the driver’s seat! Get a heat gun and a putty knife and remove all the sound deadening material - like 50+ pounds on a S13 Silvia.
Next thing I would suggest is getting a bucket seat. You can get a decent one for under $200 plus the mounts and everything else for about $70. You don’t need harnesses right away, but I’d recommend them. This will help keep you planted in the turns while drifting instead of fighting to hold on.

The most essential modification for any drift car is going to be a Limited Slip Differential, or LSD. These are expensive but sometimes you can find used ones. If it’s used, get it rebuilt! A cheap alternative to buying a LSD, popular with the drifting community, is welding the spider gears together in the factory differential and using the stock axels.Now your car is ready to drift! Spend the rest of the money on tires because you’re going to need them! A good place to get cheap tires for drifting is a used tire shop.
Of course there is any number of additional modifications you could make to increase the performance of your drift car but this overview is meant as an informative starting point for drivers interested in drifting.

Good Cars for a Budget Drift Car Project:

• Nissan 240SX (S13, S14 Silvia)
• Nissan 180SX
• Toyota Corolla AE86
• Mazda RX-7